Tag Archives: Emotions

What to do when challenges arise?

I recently had cataract surgery on both eyes. I chose a well-known doctor who does 2,000 of these surgeries every year. Everyone I talked to said it was the easiest surgery they ever had. My left eye was done first and the results were remarkable. A week later, I had the right eye done. During that surgery, the doctor said “I was not able to get all the fragments of the cataract out of your eye. You may have floaters for awhile.”

The following morning when I opened my right eye all I could see were broken brown fragments floating around in my vision. It was as if I were looking through a windshield that was covered with Petroleum Jelly. When I walked into the doctor’s office the morning after surgery. I said, “I’m scared. My vision is not right.” He assured me the floaters would disintegrate and if they didn’t, I could have another surgery. I had a trip planned to the Midwest for a family wedding in two weeks. I asked if I could do the second surgery before I left. He referred me to a retina doctor and I had to wait a week to see him.

During this time period, I had a dream about my father who was visually impaired for the last 10 years of his life. He had detached retinas  surgeries that left his vision impaired. He wouldn’t go out at night no matter how much mother and I begged him. He stayed home and went to be at 8 pm. With my own visual impairment, I felt compassion for my father.  I have not been able to drive at night with this impaired vision. I had to cancel my trip to the Midwest and have another surgery on my right eye. My right eye is healing and my vision is improving daily.

We all have challenges and disappointments in life. The only choice we have is the attitude we choose about those challenges. We can become a victim of life or a survivor.

It has taken me a lifetime to see my challenges as sacred gifts rather than scars to deny, disguise, or project onto others.

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The most grievous loss in life is the loss of our feelings.

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I was so happy on my wedding day. That joy disappeared for 25 years. Little did I know that it was even gone. I went through the motions of living, but my heart and soul were dead. Living in denial and numbness can go on without even knowing it. Life just seems  mundane and routine. No highs or lows, just  a low level of depression. When that goes on long enough the grief takes on a life of its own. I am so grateful I found a way to grieve and now offer that service to others.

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