My Story

Pauline Laurent
Pauline Laurent

My journey as a speaker and coach all started after I published my first book. I thought I would start this section off by sharing a passage written about me as a widow and author.

Pauline Laurent’s path dramatically illustrates the Vietnam era. Born and raised in the Midwest, she met her husband Howard Querry when she was 19. On May 10, 1968, after they were married less than year, Howard was killed in action in the jungles of Vietnam. Laurent was 22 years old and seven months pregnant when her husband’s body was escorted back to the states with the instruction, “Non-viewable.”

Grief Denied is the author’s moving and inspiring tale of how her healing finally occurred, and how she reclaimed her life when she faced and walked through her grief.

This book presents an insider’s view of the private world of the many people personally devastated by the Vietnam War. It makes poignantly clear the price we pay when we hide, deny or delay grief. Yet, following the author’s process and her discoveries about life, loss, and healing inspires us and allows each of us the possibility of healing, too.

Pauline’s denial and avoidance led her to escape for many years through overworking, relationships and eventually food. Her geographic escapes took her from the Midwest to Colorado and eventually to California, where for 13 years she sought refuge in Werner Erhard’s work. With no resolution still, she continued searching, without relief.

When Pauline’s daughter, at age 24, announced her wedding plans, Pauline could no longer deny her grief. She began long-term therapy, 12-Step recovery work and a spiritual search – all of which eventually led her to writing Grief Denied.

The book is for everyone who has ever mourned the loss of a loved one incompletely.

“In a very moving and healing book, Pauline Laurent takes us into the heart of the trauma of losing a loved one in war. Part of the immediate value of this book to other survivors is that she talks about the tools she used to heal herself which included writing, therapy, recovering from an addiction, creating healing rituals, and sitting with painful feelings in a safe setting.

She demonstrates how to live with, feel and grow through the pain. She also shows how she gradually reached out and found a community of support among Vietnam veterans and Sons and Daughters In Touch (for the children of people killed in Vietnam).

Grief Denied is an extraordinary and powerful book. I hope you will all read it!”

–Patience Mason, Author of Recovering from the War;
The Post-Traumatic Gazette

(Grief Denied, A Vietnam Widow’s Story, can be ordered by clicking here.)

As a Coach

I was trained and certified as a Co-Active Coach (CPCC) through The Coaches Training Institute. CTI is one of the largest coach training organizations in the world and considered “the Harvard of coach training” by the industry veterans. I have also received specific training for coaching adults with Attention Deficit Disorder.

I have a BS in Education and have studied extensively in the fields of Psychology and Spirituality. I have been practicing Vipassana Meditation for 23 years and in 12-Step Recovery for 23 years.

Prior to writing my memoir I worked for Landmark Education Corporation where I lead sections of their programs for classes of 100+ students. I was training to be a Forum Leader when I decided to leave and write my memoir.

I have been engaged in my own personal growth for over 30 years and have worked with thousands of people to further their personal and professional development.

I’m told I’m a gifted public speaker and have spoken nationally about the many joys of acknowledging and embracing hardships as a pathway to peace.

“Working with you has opened my eyes to reality in ways that could have taken decades to discover on my own. I could not have taken the steps for myself, or the widows I represent if it were not for you showing me the strength I have inside myself.”

Jennifer.  M.
Single Mom/War Widow


I am single mom and grandmother of two. When I’m not working with clients or spending time with my grandchildren, I’m out riding my bike or hiking in the beautiful hills of Northern California. I love to garden, dance and travel to new destinations.

Having experienced a significant loss in my early 20’s has given me the capacity to experience profound levels of joy.

Having survived a life-threatening illness has given me the capacity to love whole-heartedly and appreciate the sacredness of daily life.

Having lived with addictions has given me the capacity to give up trying to control my life and to surrender to a power greater than myself.

Being diagnosed at 60 with Attention Deficit Disorder has taught me to laugh at myself and, once again, make lemonade out of lemons.

If you can relate perhaps we should set up a time to talk.

Visit this page to learn more

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