Trauma and Grief

Trauma and Grief

When we suffer a traumatic loss, it fractures our trust, in ourselves, others, and God. It inhibits our ability to feel safe.  Our defenses arise to protect ourselves:  fear, denial, judgment, isolation. They are not wrong reactions just necessary in response to overwhelming experiences.

Trauma robs us of our feeling of connection. We feel alone. We don’t want to talk about it. We need a safe place to land, a place that shares and knows the difficulties we are going through. Trauma is a big part of not being able to just sit in our own skin.

When we share our vulnerabilities, let others know some of the difficult things we have been through, we create the quickest avenue to experience connection, and rebuilding of trust.

When we experience trauma, we vacate our body, we don’t feel safe enough to inhabit it anymore. Our nervous system gets activated by trauma. Animals shake after surviving an attack by a predator. This shaking is an attempt to shake off the fear and terror. 

It’s necessary to move the body to release trauma in the body.

Just being held or holding a pet or a loved one will calm us down. If we can allow ourselves to breathe deeply, we invite calm in.

Each time we share the traumatic experience with a safe person who does not judge us, give opinions or try to fix us, but merely  is a witness, we rebuild our trust. 

Published
Categorized as grieving

By Pauline Laurent

I am a story teller who believes that telling our stories not only unites us, it heals us. I had a story I was afraid to tell for 25 years. Keeping that secret almost destroyed. When I finally had the courage to tell, my life changed dramatically. I invite your stories, especially the ones you don't want to tell. Only you know what they are. In telling our stories we bear witness to our lives. What's your story? I'm curious.

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